The Jingoistic States of Slavic Lurkers is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Gulag Boi with an even hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, ubiquitous missile silos, and vat-grown people. The compassionate, cheerful population of 8.422 billion Slavic Lurkersians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gulag Center. The average income tax rate is 59.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Slavic Lurkersian economy, worth a remarkable 1,637 trillion Gulag Points a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 194,443 Gulag Points, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

You can say what you like about the genocidal murderers that rule Slavic Lurkers but at least the trains run on time, Gulag Boi steals from the rich and gives to the needy, citizens are deeply regretting challenging the government to be honest about its intentions, and monocled merchants with funny accents are applying for Slavic Lurkersian citizenship in droves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Slavic Lurkers's national animal is the Dust Bunny, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Slavic Lurkers is ranked 176,922^nd in the world and 189^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Corrupt Governments, with 3.17 kickbacks per hour.